I wrote something

I haven't written anything in ages, I haven't had any inspiration or the need to. I only write when I'm not happy, probably the reason why I haven't written, because I've been happy for the last few months but whatever. I just finished writing something, keep in mind I did it in like 30 minutes so it's not exactly good, and I haven't reworked it so its half decent, but I don't care, it says how I feel and that's all I wanted to do, I've never written something saying exactly how I feel. Here it is:

We've always taken two steps back and one forward
Every fight we've had has just made it more awkward
We had no intention to take this any further
If we fought anymore it could of ended in murder
You'll never understand how much you really meant
Didn't realise what I had until you went
Its over, for now and eternity
I would of supported you through maternity
You meant a lot, so much its unreal
I've haven't known you long, but you know how I feel
So stop all these negative thoughts
What we had couldn't of been bought
Prostitutes are incapable of love
Me and you, we fit like a glove
But its all over, for good this time
I've never been able to call you mine
And now I've lost my chance, I blew it all
We didn't take any pictures of us for my wall
Thats a good thing, I can do without the memories
Just because you meant so much to me
I need to escape, and get over you
I feel like disappearing into the blue
You thought I didn't fall for you, I obviously did
Just my emotions, well, I kept them hid
I didn't want to seem weak or vulnerable
But now I've lost it all
I wish I had a time machine
You were an absolute queen
I'd change everything that I regret
I hope you know that I can never forget
All the things I put you through, good and bad
Its funny that you were the only good thing I had
Everything happens for a reason I guess
Committing treason was for the best
I never closed my eyes whenever we used to kiss
I never wanted anything to go amiss
It's now set in stone, weapons on the floor
You were the only one that I adored
But now we're through, and there's nothing I can do
I'd just like to let you know that I'll miss you.

Fantastic

I haven't updated my blog in a while, because I haven't done anything really interesting... I'm gonna leave you with this song. The whole "you'll never realise what you had until you lose it," thing happened to be true after all.

This song came on my iTunes a few minutes ago, worst timing ever.



Lyrics:
Well you ask me if I'll forget my baby.
I guess I will, someday.
I don't like it but I guess things happen that way.
You ask me if I'll get along.
I guess I will, someway.
I don't like it but I guess things happen that way.

God gave me that girl to lean on,
then he put me on my own.
Heaven help me be a man
and have the strength to stand alone.
I don't like it but I guess things happen that way.

You ask me if I'll miss her kisses.
I guess I will, everyday.
I don't like it but I guess things happen that way.
You ask me if I'll find another.
I don't know. I can't say.
I don't like it but I guess things happen that way.

God gave me that girl to lean on,
then he put me on my own.
Heaven help me be a man
and have the strength to stand alone.
I don't like it but I guess things happen that way.

We are now approaching the age of the gross

Right, last updated on Wednesday, so I'll catch you up quickly;

Thursday I went to London with Becky because she was meeting some guy from Dailybooth called "Diceman", and he's like 21 and is showing interest in her, so she wanted me to accompany her in case she got raped or something. Becky turns 17 in a few days, so yeah, happy birthday! It's a bit premature but I'll probably forget when the time actually rolls around.

We didn't really do much, just walked around. We found Forbidden Planet, its amazing, I want to buy the whole shop! I was tempted to buy World War Z or Pride And Prejudice And Zombies, but I didn't, I saved my money, for once. We also went into the Apple shop in an attempt to play around on the machines and take pictures, but I don't like Macs so I refused to touch one (until I found a kids one with Lego Indiana Jones on, which didn't even work), so we stood around waiting for one to free up, but it didn't, so we went home. Well, I say we went home, but we told Diceman we were, then sort of changed our mind and ventured London a bit more. We got off at Covent Garden and Becky decided it would be a good idea to walk the stairs instead of getting the elevator. Ridiculous idea. We found out we're ridiculously unfit. Well, she was out of breath by the time we got to the top, I wasn't, my thighs just hurt. After we walked around Covent Garden we walked to Embankment station to get a Subway, some cute German girl asked us if there's any traditional English restaurants around, ones that sold fish and chips and stuff like that. There weren't, so we told her to go Covent Garden, there's a few around there, well, we thought there was, we don't actually know if there is. Her accent was gorgeous so we tried keeping her talking, but she had to go :( after Subway we sat in a park, there were Spanish people behind us and Becky really wanted to talk to them 'cause she's good at Spanish and stuff, but she couldn't find the guts to. After that we went home I think?

Yesterday was nothing special, we was meant to be at RAM@Matter, but I couldn't get tickets. I loved the way they tried blaming it on me and it was like whoa, hold up guys, you're the ones who had working cash cards, not me! Oh well, we'll catch another "shubz" soon. What happened yesterday is we went to Moon, sat around drinking and talking to others, that's it really. After Moon we walked to town, got a KFC. Bishops lot were going to Bar Form or whatever, I've never been there. We didn't go.

Today I've got no idea what we're doing. I've got £9.60 to my name and I've been looking around on dubstepforum.com for events happening in London tonight. I've found one that sounds interesting, and its free before 10. Only thing is; it's in Brixton. If we do go, I wouldn't be surprised if we return in a body bag.

London, how I love you

I'm writing this on my way home, currently sat on the W9 with no idea of where I am, but I know it takes me home so I don't care.

Todays been a nice day, it was spent with Rosa in London. We was meant to go to the science museum and/or the natural history museum, but shes really lazy. I woke up at 10, called her, she was still asleep so I told her to let me know when she wakes up, I fell asleep then woke up to a text at about 12.20. Showered, ate, got dressed, I was ready by about 1.30, she said meet her at the station at 4, cool. On my way to South Kensington I was exchanging texts with Rosa, she told me to keep myself busy as she was gonna be a while longer, so I walked around the back roads where all the cute houses were in, I'm so planning on living in one when I'm older, if I'm making enough money anyway. Everyone there drove a nice car, Ferraris, Lambos, Porches and Rolls Royces constantly drove past me. Rosa arrived at about 5.20, I met her at the natural history museum, we at on the grass for two minutes, if that, then got told that they're closing so we had to leave.

We then walked around the area and stumbled across Harrods, before we went in Rosa bought some sushi and we ate it on a bench outside the church, then we entered Harrods. I've never really been there before, and I know why; because its out of my league. Everything there is just so nice and expensive and yum. We walked around for a bit, I ooh'd at the Egyptian halls, they were really impressive. We then went to the food hall and bought some olives, well, Rosa did, I'm not a fan of olives. Transaction complete, we made our exit.

We walked to South Kensington station and made our way home, which leads to now and my bus journey home. I still have no idea of my whereabouts.

Overall, today was lovely. I left out a few bits but they don't matter, just small things like McDonalds and reading The Cube. It was so nice spending some time with Rosa, today was the first time we've really hung out together, hah. I'm gonna pay attention to this bus journey now just incase I miss my stop, which I probably already have. Bye!

EDIT: I'm safely at Darrons now. Have been for a few hours haha.

Tired eyes

I've decided I'm going to use a few more websites than just blogger and facebook, hopefully it'll reduce my level of boredom when I'm browsing the internets.

http://joshwhittle.tumblr.com/
http://twitter.com/joshwhittle/

Yeah, only two websites to start off with. I've had twitter for a bit, but I've never really used it...

Currently I'm waiting for Tom to come round. He left ages ago, well he claims he did, he probably didn't, he's so lazy.

9th of September

If I was you I'd stay at home, or at least avoid using London transport. On Saturday mum turned to me and goes "do you know what I've been thinking? Remember 911? Yeah, 911 and nine eleven, Americas emergency number, and the date... well, think of Englands, 999, and think what this year is. I'm just saying... something might happen on the 9th of September, I'd stay at home if I was you," I don't think I'm going to be out on the 9th of September, I'll be safely tucked away in the safety of my duvet.

Today I woke up at 5pm, when I fell asleep at 3am, lovely fourteen hours of sleep. When I woke up I thought I'm gonna be more laid back than I already am about every problem the world throws at me. I'll conquer each and every problem, just not at once, I like taking my times on things 'cause I don't like worrying.

Thats all I have to say really. Bai.

I can't wait to get my own place

It's going to be such a mess, but it will be my palace, and I will love the independence.

Love don't come easily

I finished reading The Game today, incredible book, loved every fucking page. But I'm not going to talk about that now seeing as its been the subject of a few of my blogs throughout July, I'm going to make a start on The Rules of The Game soon.

Today so far has been a standard Sunday, woke up at 12.30, laid in bed playing Call of Duty: World at War, climbed out of bed and into the shower at 1.30, got to my nans by 2.00, came home at 4.30.

My plans for tonight are to pick up an 8ball with Tom H, smoke it at Darrons. I got given £10 today, and thats already being put towards skunk, I really need to stop.

When I was walking through the pathway that leads to mine, I noticed my neighbours ar emoving in properly, so I thought I'd give them a welcoming present. Ever since I got home I've been playing dubstep at full volume. They're gonna have to get used to it anyway.

I really want to fall in love, I want everything that all the songs, books, movies and experiences have told me, but I'm afraid of falling for someone, I never want someone to have so much control over my emotions and myself, but I guess that day will come, if not soon, later.

My baby fat is pissing me off, I wish my cheeks would stop being so chubby. It also explains why I've never really noticed a change when I changed my diet, and started working out, I stopped because I didn't see anything different about my body in a month. My body is my biggest flaw, fuck.

I'm going to entertain myself while waiting for Tom to get ready. I could probably watch the whole boxset of The Lord Of The Rings while waiting for him, he's so lazy and I think I've seen him on time about ten times over the fifteen years that I've known him, haha.

Anything you can do, I can do better, blindfolded

Todays been alright so far, started off with me waking up around 12ish, then Tom asked me to go town with him to buy stuff for Charlottes birthday, which is tomorrow. Tom came to mine while I was playing Siren Blood Curse, he said he'd be way too scared to play this on his own which made me giggled, then he proceeded to roll a spliff.

Arrived in town at about 2pm, after finishing off the remainder of our spliff we popped into Waterstones to get the books we wanted. Kama Sutra for Tom, The Rules of The Game for me. After that we got Toms card for Charlotte and grabbed a hot dog. Bumped into Dan Emery, spoke to him for less than a minute then went our seperate ways.

When I got home Mum wouldn't make me crumpets, so I made my own, humph. After that I got Call of Duty 4 multiplayer working on my PS3 and sat down playing that for god knows how long waiting for my Mum to get ready so we could go to London, finally that time rolled around.

We got there at about 6ish, went straight to Adidas and bought my Stan Smiths, then went into Zara where my Mum spent an hour looking at stuff and I just sat there, tired and bored. When she was through with that we walked around London a little bit, I popped into HMV to see how much Call of Duty: World at War was, £45, thought fuck that, and made our way out. We went to Marks & Spencers then I decided I wanted to go to Game before it closed and said goodbye to Mumsie.

Walked from Bond Street station to Game on Oxford Street, picked up a copy of CoD:WaW pre-owned for £35 and got denied sale, apparently I don't look old enough for a 15 age rated game. She asked for ID, I pulled out my Oyster Card, which before you say anything is a Zip Oyster Card, which you have to be a student to get, and it was a 16+ one, so it says 16+ on the side... still got denied, walked out the shop shaking my head. Walked a few stores down and got to HMV which were closing, the security guard said "you can't come in, we're closed", I took a few steps back and looked at the opening times, held my phone up to him and went "you close at 8.30, its 8.22, I know exactly what I want, I won't be more than two minutes," he looked at his watch and let me in. I proceeded to the game section, looked for CoD:WaW, couldn't find it, because it was hidden away. When I picked it up it said "Special Purchase; 29.99" bargain. They served me without questioning my age aswell. Score.

Then I made my way home. On the bus there were two girls on the top deck that were absolutely stunning, I kept my mouth shut as I'm still so scared to say anything. Downstairs was an emo trio, one was quite attractive, she stared at my bum as I was getting off the bus, I could tell 'cause she maintained eye contact with me as I was walking down the stairs, then when I got off, I turned to give another look, and caught her red handed, I didn't say anything though, obviously.

Outside my house there were about 5 long-legged girls walking somewhere in revealing dresses, they smiled at me and waved, one of them sweetly said "alriiight" to me, I nodded and replied "alright," then turned into my place. I should of stopped them and said "Hey, I need a ladies side on this, who lies more, men or women?" I should of, but I didn't, I so easily could of, but I didn't. I'm such a fucking pussy.

I think I'm gonna go play CoD:WaW for a bit, ciao

The comedian

Its funny how your friends think I'm a dick. Its fun guessing who does. I've got a short list so far.

I''m going London soon with mi madre, I'm only spending £25 on dem fresh crep, Nans paying £30 hehe, I love my Nan.

Been there, done that

Today I'm going to journey into Bond Street, find Adidas, buy them Stan Smiths if they're still there, then walk around for a bit doing some window shopping, or if its a nice day I might sit in Hyde Park reading Civil War or The Game.

My jugglings coming along slowly, I can get three balls in the air at the same time, I just can't carry on from there, I'm bad at multi tasking.

Last night was quite fun, we just went to the Moon, which was alright, it would of been better if everyone was there, but I've been told that rarely happens. Plus I enjoyed myself late in the night by running game on Becca (Jasons friend), just to see if the things I remembered worked, I think they did, well I know she owes me a drink from it, so thats a plus for me.

I realised if I get these trainers I'll have like £15 left for Reading, and that won't even pay for my train ticket, so I've gotta find a way to get money for Reading... which is in like 27 days now, fuck. Selling my ticket isn't even an option seeing as my Nan got it for me as a birthday present.