Yesterday my Mum came home, same time as normal, I open the door; "Vanessa died." Apparently she had a double heart attack.
The day before yesterday my Mum was telling me about Vanessa having a heart attack, and her chance of survival being 50/50.
For those who don't know (which is all of you), Vanessa was Eddies wife, Vanessa & Eddie were very good friends of my parents, Eddie was a very funny man, and Vanessa was gorgeous, they made a fantastic couple. I wish my marriage turns out like theirs.
Earlier my Mum rings me and asks if I need anything from Asda, my voice lacked emotion, I replied "bread.", she asked if anythings wrong, I replied "no.", one word answers doesn't assure someone that everythings alright. Then out of nowhere she goes "Vanessa didn't die, Dad got the information wrong, it was Vanessa's Mum. Luckily I didn't send out a card, I was gonna get one today. Dad did however, idiot." Silly Dad.
Today has been another wasted day. I woke up at 10 for some unknown reason, laid in bed watching Friends and thinking. I'm always thinking. Time passed, it got to 2pm, I hadn't done anything apart from get a little further in The Game, have a bowl of cereal and talk to a few people on MSN. I decided to watch Magnolia, climbed into bed, turned my PS3 on and loaded it up. It's an amazing film, I loved every second of it, its quite fucking emotional aswell. Probably explains my apathetic mood. Thats a lie, I'm not apathetic, I'm a little down.
I can't be fucked going to The Moon tonight, it's just gonna be more money wasted, and I'm not really in the mood. Plus after that we're going Inn on the Green, I've got no idea where the fuck that is.
Just finished listening to the Arctic Monkeys new album, its really impressive, better than their last one in my opinion.
I forgot what else I wanted to write seeing as my Mum just got home, hmm. Bye.
Friday, 31 July 2009
"Why do you care though?"
Open your fucking eyes. You went last Thursday, the day before you said that it didn't mean anything, it killed me. I finally thought we might be alright, well, when you get back that is. Apparently not. I'm not gonna pretend like I don't care anymore, 'cause I do, I don't even know why, but its pretty obvious, I just can't grab the reason.
It might be because you're the only person that I've cared about properly in ages, it could be that you actually meant something to me. Nothing mattered when you was around, every single problem seemed to vanish with the touch of your lips, you're the only reason why I felt good. The funny thing is, you actually don't know me, I don't think anybody does really, ha. Not my parents of 18 years, not my best friend of 15 years, nobody. I never opened myself in the past, only to "councellers" and stuff, but that was because I was young, and it didn't really matter. Stuff that does matter however, you know about, you're the only person that I've told stuff to, I'm normally the listener, I'm normally the one that sits there and talks through peoples problems and try to help them. You tried to help me by cutting yourself out, it didn't help.
Everythings resolved, well, most of the problems are, I've still got a few things lingering about, but they're not top priority, you now are. And getting you back will be on the top of my list for ages. Even if I disappear for a while and you don't hear from me for, idk, say a year or so, you won't be forgotten.
Its funny how I didn't ever want to be portrayed as pathetic, but there we go.
If you're just a casual reader, this means nothing to you, and you'll probably miss it unless it shows up in your reading list or whatever, I hope you do.
Got a good reason to induce some liver poisoning on myself tonight. Thanks. The first drink of the night will be dedicated to you.
It might be because you're the only person that I've cared about properly in ages, it could be that you actually meant something to me. Nothing mattered when you was around, every single problem seemed to vanish with the touch of your lips, you're the only reason why I felt good. The funny thing is, you actually don't know me, I don't think anybody does really, ha. Not my parents of 18 years, not my best friend of 15 years, nobody. I never opened myself in the past, only to "councellers" and stuff, but that was because I was young, and it didn't really matter. Stuff that does matter however, you know about, you're the only person that I've told stuff to, I'm normally the listener, I'm normally the one that sits there and talks through peoples problems and try to help them. You tried to help me by cutting yourself out, it didn't help.
Everythings resolved, well, most of the problems are, I've still got a few things lingering about, but they're not top priority, you now are. And getting you back will be on the top of my list for ages. Even if I disappear for a while and you don't hear from me for, idk, say a year or so, you won't be forgotten.
Its funny how I didn't ever want to be portrayed as pathetic, but there we go.
If you're just a casual reader, this means nothing to you, and you'll probably miss it unless it shows up in your reading list or whatever, I hope you do.
Got a good reason to induce some liver poisoning on myself tonight. Thanks. The first drink of the night will be dedicated to you.
Thursday, 30 July 2009
Congratulations, you're a natural
I saw the girl that I chased around secondary school for the majority of the time I was there for the first time in ages today, she's still got an amazing smile. She was smiling at me while I was walking down my road, it took me ages to notice seeing as she was in a learner car, I think I sort of distracted her, 'cause when I walked past she stalled. I'm sure I wasn't the distraction and that she was just unlucky, I just like saying things that make me feel better, okay? Okay.
Julia was on MSN when I was leaving, so I signed on Meebo IM on my phone and talked to her on my way to the tube station, she was waiting to board a plane so she could fly away to some island.
The train journey was average, nothing interesting happened, some guy sat next to me who stunk of cigarettes and alcohol. Its shocking how many people have red eyes and a certain stench coming off them, I'm guessing some are from wake 'n' bakes, others from making their morning coffees "irish", and others who just had a lack of sleep the night before.
On my way out of the tube station I saw signs to Sherlock Holmes Museum, which began to interest me, I thought I'd have a quick look around in an attempt to find it before I started my leafletting, but I couldn't find it, I found Madamme Tussauds however, sort of hard to miss. I sent Rosa a text suggesting that we should go there & London Dungeons sometime.
I got paired with a blonde haired woman who's there quite regularly, she's so bubbly, whoever she hands a leaflet to takes it from her hands with a smile on their face, mainly 'cause shes got the widest grin plastered on her face while handing them out, and she always says "good morning!" in the most enthusiastic way I've ever heard.
On the tube journey home there were two blondes sitting talking in either Finnish or Swedish, I'm pretty sure it was Swe. One of them was tanned, she obviously dyed her hair blonde 'cause you could see the brown underneath it. The other had blonde/white hair, like Robyn, she was the one that took my interest, I was gazing mercilessly at her throughout most of the journey, until she had to get off. She didn't look my way once.
Thats it really. My neck hurts, and I can't turn to my left side without it hurting, oh well, I've lived through worse. I'm gonna take a nap 'cause I had like 3 hours sleep. Bye.
Julia was on MSN when I was leaving, so I signed on Meebo IM on my phone and talked to her on my way to the tube station, she was waiting to board a plane so she could fly away to some island.
The train journey was average, nothing interesting happened, some guy sat next to me who stunk of cigarettes and alcohol. Its shocking how many people have red eyes and a certain stench coming off them, I'm guessing some are from wake 'n' bakes, others from making their morning coffees "irish", and others who just had a lack of sleep the night before.
On my way out of the tube station I saw signs to Sherlock Holmes Museum, which began to interest me, I thought I'd have a quick look around in an attempt to find it before I started my leafletting, but I couldn't find it, I found Madamme Tussauds however, sort of hard to miss. I sent Rosa a text suggesting that we should go there & London Dungeons sometime.
I got paired with a blonde haired woman who's there quite regularly, she's so bubbly, whoever she hands a leaflet to takes it from her hands with a smile on their face, mainly 'cause shes got the widest grin plastered on her face while handing them out, and she always says "good morning!" in the most enthusiastic way I've ever heard.
On the tube journey home there were two blondes sitting talking in either Finnish or Swedish, I'm pretty sure it was Swe. One of them was tanned, she obviously dyed her hair blonde 'cause you could see the brown underneath it. The other had blonde/white hair, like Robyn, she was the one that took my interest, I was gazing mercilessly at her throughout most of the journey, until she had to get off. She didn't look my way once.
Thats it really. My neck hurts, and I can't turn to my left side without it hurting, oh well, I've lived through worse. I'm gonna take a nap 'cause I had like 3 hours sleep. Bye.
Couldn't I change your mind?
This morning was nice, woke up at 5am, turned on the TV and started watching Scrapheap Challenge, then noticed Julia had returned the text I sent her yesterday, so I spent another 15 minutes in bed watching Scrapheap and exchanging texts with her. Finally got up and hopped in the shower, now I'm sat here writing this blog. I'm gonna pour myself a bowl of Coco Pops in a minute. I'll have to leave within the next 30 minutes though, boo.
I watched Cutting Moments yesterday, its a short film, and I was told it was highly disturbing, which was hard to believe at the beginning. It started off boring as hell, some shit about social services taking their kid, and the woman didn't get noticed by her husband when she dressed up, so she decides to cut off her lips and shit. I now understand why it they said it was disturbing, and it made me squirm. I'd watch it again though, but theres no need to, its nothing good. You don't even see most of the gore during, you just see the blood drip and the aftermath.
You'll never realise how much I regret my mistakes.
I watched Cutting Moments yesterday, its a short film, and I was told it was highly disturbing, which was hard to believe at the beginning. It started off boring as hell, some shit about social services taking their kid, and the woman didn't get noticed by her husband when she dressed up, so she decides to cut off her lips and shit. I now understand why it they said it was disturbing, and it made me squirm. I'd watch it again though, but theres no need to, its nothing good. You don't even see most of the gore during, you just see the blood drip and the aftermath.
You'll never realise how much I regret my mistakes.
Wednesday, 29 July 2009
Priorities
I'm so fucking tired. I woke up at 10am in an attempt to get ready and look decent for my so called "date" with Becca, which got called off, but it's alright, I'll see her when she gets back from Sicily.
Not long ago I noticed that I suffer from a massive case of one-itis* whenever I meet someone that shows interest in me, and it fucking sucks. I think thats the biggest thing I need to deal with on this journey, being emotionally attached to someone within minutes of meeting them.
*ONE-ITIS--noun: 1. an obsession with a girl whom one is not dating; pickup artists believe that such an extreme fixation on one woman significantly lowers a man's chances of dating or sleeping with her. 2. a girl with whom one is obsessed. Origin: John C. Ryan.
Not long ago I noticed that I suffer from a massive case of one-itis* whenever I meet someone that shows interest in me, and it fucking sucks. I think thats the biggest thing I need to deal with on this journey, being emotionally attached to someone within minutes of meeting them.
*ONE-ITIS--noun: 1. an obsession with a girl whom one is not dating; pickup artists believe that such an extreme fixation on one woman significantly lowers a man's chances of dating or sleeping with her. 2. a girl with whom one is obsessed. Origin: John C. Ryan.
Tuesday, 28 July 2009
I could easily make you mine, times all I need
Mike's blog from the other day inspired me to write one about The Game, reasons for getting into it and more, so here it is;
Theres thousands of reasons why I wanted to get into the game, the biggest one is probably to become socially able to talk to girls without wetting my pants a little bit, or even stuttering. I actually shit myself when approaching a girl, 90% of the time I blow it and walk straight past, the other 10% I ask for the time, like thats going to get me anywhere. The only thing I can do to a stranger is smile, most of the time I get a smile back, most of the time. I really don't understand how to hurdle the social barrier, what the fuck do I say? I can't just walk up to them and be like "hi," they'd probably think I'm really weird or something, and very well I'll introduce myself, but then what? After they know my name I'm not gonna keep them standing around asking them every question under the sun about themselves when they've probably got somewhere to go but are too polite to excuse themselves. I honestly don't think anybody knew that I had a massive problem approaching strangers. All the girls who I've told that I have this problem were like "whaaat? You're fine with me and I started off as a stranger," you didn't, you started off as a mate of a mate, and I just introduced myself from there, I had an anchor point when I introduced myself, I could easily say "oh I'm Josh, a friend of blahblah, I'm pretty sure you know them aswell?" and it'll go from there, plus thats behind a computer screen, I can do ANYTHING behind a computer screen and not feel stupid, in person its totally fucking different, I really doubt I could hold a conversation with them in person, even if I got introduced by our mutual friend.
So, I decided to do something about it, seeing as I'm now 18 and the ability to talk to strangers will help me out so much, I've gone through years in life thinking I'm not attractive, out of shape, no personality, so many things that have lowered my self esteem along with my confidence. And now its time for a fucking change. When I've mastered a few techniques and actually tried them out in the field I'm sure you'll notice a change within the next few months, a massive change. Once I've clocked this, I'm going to seriously sort my life out, get a little job so that I've got enough money to join a gym and go out every friday, look for an apprenticeship if I don't get into college, start learning a little hobby (which will probably be skateboarding).
Don't get me wrong, I can talk to girls, as long as I talk to them behind something rather than in person, like a phone conversation, Facebook, and other lame things. Once I'm comfortable talking to you I'll have no problem when I'm out with you, I'm comfortable enough going in for a kiss, as long as I'm comfortable with that person. And when it comes to getting someones number, I normally can, as long as I've got a few drinks in me and I'm not my concious self, the only problem with getting the number is actually using it. Every number that I've got I don't think I've ever given them a call or dropped them a text, I'm so shit.
So yeah, thats basically the reason that I got into the game. To build confidence, know what to say around the opposite sex to get them interested in me, and a tonne of other reasons I can't be bothered explaining right now.
Now, time to indulge in a bit of reading, cya.
Theres thousands of reasons why I wanted to get into the game, the biggest one is probably to become socially able to talk to girls without wetting my pants a little bit, or even stuttering. I actually shit myself when approaching a girl, 90% of the time I blow it and walk straight past, the other 10% I ask for the time, like thats going to get me anywhere. The only thing I can do to a stranger is smile, most of the time I get a smile back, most of the time. I really don't understand how to hurdle the social barrier, what the fuck do I say? I can't just walk up to them and be like "hi," they'd probably think I'm really weird or something, and very well I'll introduce myself, but then what? After they know my name I'm not gonna keep them standing around asking them every question under the sun about themselves when they've probably got somewhere to go but are too polite to excuse themselves. I honestly don't think anybody knew that I had a massive problem approaching strangers. All the girls who I've told that I have this problem were like "whaaat? You're fine with me and I started off as a stranger," you didn't, you started off as a mate of a mate, and I just introduced myself from there, I had an anchor point when I introduced myself, I could easily say "oh I'm Josh, a friend of blahblah, I'm pretty sure you know them aswell?" and it'll go from there, plus thats behind a computer screen, I can do ANYTHING behind a computer screen and not feel stupid, in person its totally fucking different, I really doubt I could hold a conversation with them in person, even if I got introduced by our mutual friend.
So, I decided to do something about it, seeing as I'm now 18 and the ability to talk to strangers will help me out so much, I've gone through years in life thinking I'm not attractive, out of shape, no personality, so many things that have lowered my self esteem along with my confidence. And now its time for a fucking change. When I've mastered a few techniques and actually tried them out in the field I'm sure you'll notice a change within the next few months, a massive change. Once I've clocked this, I'm going to seriously sort my life out, get a little job so that I've got enough money to join a gym and go out every friday, look for an apprenticeship if I don't get into college, start learning a little hobby (which will probably be skateboarding).
Don't get me wrong, I can talk to girls, as long as I talk to them behind something rather than in person, like a phone conversation, Facebook, and other lame things. Once I'm comfortable talking to you I'll have no problem when I'm out with you, I'm comfortable enough going in for a kiss, as long as I'm comfortable with that person. And when it comes to getting someones number, I normally can, as long as I've got a few drinks in me and I'm not my concious self, the only problem with getting the number is actually using it. Every number that I've got I don't think I've ever given them a call or dropped them a text, I'm so shit.
So yeah, thats basically the reason that I got into the game. To build confidence, know what to say around the opposite sex to get them interested in me, and a tonne of other reasons I can't be bothered explaining right now.
Now, time to indulge in a bit of reading, cya.
Monday, 27 July 2009
Cigarette smoke will make you choke
I woke up at around 2pm today, from the loveliest dream I've had in so long. It started off with me playing Left4Dead on the Xbox 360 round my mates house, there was about 3 of us there, then about 4 girls turned up, and one of them was ginger, my jaw dropped as soon as I saw her. When she settled down next to me on the sofa I asked if she fancied a game, she nodded her head and grabbed my mates controller, she was surprisingly good. So far, two things that I find highly attractive in a girl; the ability to game, and ginger hair. While playing we was just making the normal introductory small talk "so, whats your name?" "what college d'ya go to?" "are you going uni?" and so on and so forth, after getting past that stage we got into deeper conversation, I really can't remember what it was about, but we connected and got on really well. She was about 5"6, slender, hair up in a bun, some freckles, the bluest eyes I've ever seen, she was perfect. The dream ended too quickly, nothing else really happened, I was just dragged away from it because I naturally woke up, which upset me a little bit. I also woke up singing One More Chance, weird. I also thought it was Tuesday, ha.
The weirdest thing about the dream is as soon as I jumped on my PC I had a conversation with Jessie on Facebook, and she randomly linked me to a picture of a ginger girl saying "hot ginger girl wooo", she looked EXACTLY like the girl in my dream, but she had more freckles, she was also holding what looked like a gaming controller, so that freaked me out a little bit, and I can't pluck up the courage to add her on Facebook. What the fuck would I say? "Oh hai you know Jessie, right? Yeah, I think you might of been in my dream," no.
My cash account is suspended, because I got my PIN wrong three times, I didn't, there was a method to remembering it, which I'll tell you once it gets sorted out. Having it suspended sucks, seeing as I was planning on buying the RAM@Matter tickets sometime this week, hopefully it gets sorted out before Friday, or before tickets sell out. I'll be fucking gutted if they sold out.
On Saturday I went to the Science Museum and Natural History Museum with Becky and Lilli, it was fun. Even though Lilli's really quiet she's still nice, and its nice to know I get on with Becky even better in person than I do behind a computer screen. The only thing that would of made it better is if we went into the butterfly exhibition at the Natural History Museum! And the man who was squeezing himself through a tennis racket was quite fun to watch, even though Becky and Lilli seemed disgusted about it, whats so disgusting about dislocating your shoulder, I'll never know.
Last night I completed inFamous on the PS3, fucking amazing game. I'm gonna work through it but chosing the bad karma options instead of the good ones, then try and complete Siren Blood Curse, even though the first 5 minutes of the game made me jump and I had to turn it off, mainly because it was 3am, I was high as fuck, and I was shitting bricks.
Ummm, thats it I guess. I'm gonna go read more of The Game after playing a bit of inFamous, adios.
The weirdest thing about the dream is as soon as I jumped on my PC I had a conversation with Jessie on Facebook, and she randomly linked me to a picture of a ginger girl saying "hot ginger girl wooo", she looked EXACTLY like the girl in my dream, but she had more freckles, she was also holding what looked like a gaming controller, so that freaked me out a little bit, and I can't pluck up the courage to add her on Facebook. What the fuck would I say? "Oh hai you know Jessie, right? Yeah, I think you might of been in my dream," no.
My cash account is suspended, because I got my PIN wrong three times, I didn't, there was a method to remembering it, which I'll tell you once it gets sorted out. Having it suspended sucks, seeing as I was planning on buying the RAM@Matter tickets sometime this week, hopefully it gets sorted out before Friday, or before tickets sell out. I'll be fucking gutted if they sold out.
On Saturday I went to the Science Museum and Natural History Museum with Becky and Lilli, it was fun. Even though Lilli's really quiet she's still nice, and its nice to know I get on with Becky even better in person than I do behind a computer screen. The only thing that would of made it better is if we went into the butterfly exhibition at the Natural History Museum! And the man who was squeezing himself through a tennis racket was quite fun to watch, even though Becky and Lilli seemed disgusted about it, whats so disgusting about dislocating your shoulder, I'll never know.
Last night I completed inFamous on the PS3, fucking amazing game. I'm gonna work through it but chosing the bad karma options instead of the good ones, then try and complete Siren Blood Curse, even though the first 5 minutes of the game made me jump and I had to turn it off, mainly because it was 3am, I was high as fuck, and I was shitting bricks.
Ummm, thats it I guess. I'm gonna go read more of The Game after playing a bit of inFamous, adios.
Sunday, 26 July 2009
There's skeletons in your closet, did you know they were staying?
I just took a test on Stylelife, and its ridiculous how accurate the synopsis of me is;
It's possible that you have tremendous knowledge, gained through the analysis of books, movies, games, and scientific research. You probably know far more than men who are more successful with women, but you can't seem to find opportunities to display your intellect and talent. One of your major obstacles is your inability to take action, which prevents you from accomplishing your social goals.
You can occasionally be found at the back of a social event clutching your drink and perhaps looking busy. You sometimes feel afraid to get out on the dance floor, or even to speak to strangers. You may watch your friends cavort on tables or drink body shots with women while you quietly nurse your drink. Often, you find yourself standing on the sidelines watching others have all the fun.
Maybe there are times when you can't even muster the courage to get out of the house just for the opportunity to meet that special someone. You are generally considered shy. Fear of rejection and validation keep you in your invisible Plexiglas box. You have a strong desire to be liked and accepted by others, but you have a tendency to not put your self on the line, thus closing your self off to the very thing you so desperately seek.
There you are, sitting on a park bench as life passes you by. Your mind races constantly measuring the temperature of the situation to see if it's OK yet to dive in and take a social swim. Meanwhile, as you are sitting there, at least a dozen beautiful opportunities pass you by. At least you get to admire their backsides. As Grace Hopper said, "A ship in port is safe, but that's not what ships are built for." Time to start living your life to the fullest.
Practically everything in that is true, which is so worrying. I need to sort myself out socially, blah. I'll get it done, I'm sure of it, I'm so determined to stop being such a social recluse when it comes to talking to strangers of the opposite sex.
Not a lot to blog about today, that was it really.
It's possible that you have tremendous knowledge, gained through the analysis of books, movies, games, and scientific research. You probably know far more than men who are more successful with women, but you can't seem to find opportunities to display your intellect and talent. One of your major obstacles is your inability to take action, which prevents you from accomplishing your social goals.
You can occasionally be found at the back of a social event clutching your drink and perhaps looking busy. You sometimes feel afraid to get out on the dance floor, or even to speak to strangers. You may watch your friends cavort on tables or drink body shots with women while you quietly nurse your drink. Often, you find yourself standing on the sidelines watching others have all the fun.
Maybe there are times when you can't even muster the courage to get out of the house just for the opportunity to meet that special someone. You are generally considered shy. Fear of rejection and validation keep you in your invisible Plexiglas box. You have a strong desire to be liked and accepted by others, but you have a tendency to not put your self on the line, thus closing your self off to the very thing you so desperately seek.
There you are, sitting on a park bench as life passes you by. Your mind races constantly measuring the temperature of the situation to see if it's OK yet to dive in and take a social swim. Meanwhile, as you are sitting there, at least a dozen beautiful opportunities pass you by. At least you get to admire their backsides. As Grace Hopper said, "A ship in port is safe, but that's not what ships are built for." Time to start living your life to the fullest.
Practically everything in that is true, which is so worrying. I need to sort myself out socially, blah. I'll get it done, I'm sure of it, I'm so determined to stop being such a social recluse when it comes to talking to strangers of the opposite sex.
Not a lot to blog about today, that was it really.
Saturday, 25 July 2009
Woken up by the sunshine
I just saw myself on telly, haha. I love it when that advert comes on, it makes me smile for some reason.
Right, I stumbled home at whatever time last night, and I fell asleep at about 3am, I woke up at 7.30 'cause I left my curtains open and the sun had its hat on, for once. The worst thing was, I couldn't get back to sleep, and that pissed me off. I planned on getting up around 11ish, but nope. S'alright though, I'm not that tired, I could easily survive today.
Last night was a thousand times better than I thought it would be, which means it was alright, I thought it was gonna be horrible, but it really wasn't. Started off with me meeting Darron and Jay outside the pub, then I got ID'd straight away, haha. Darron bought me a Sailor Jerry and Coke, first drink of the night. Finished that rather quickly while Jay was talking to some pretty girl outside, thats around the time Tom met us, we made our way inside to get some more drinks, Tom ordered me and him their strongest shot, which was 67% or something, tasted like liquorice fire and burned my throat for ages. Carling was my drink of choice throught the majority of the night, with the occassional Sailor Jerry and Coke, we also had a shot of Jagermeister, tastes like medicine, feels good man.
I honestly think the only reason I enjoyed last night was because there were so many people there that I knew, had plenty of nice chats, I get alot more chatty when I've had a few drinks in me, and around people that I'm completely comfortable with. Honestly though, the nicest talk that I had last night was with Becca, even though it was incredibly short.
After the Moon we went to Adz' free yard, even though we was there for about 30 minutes, was talking to Darron and Jay about first love, I couldn't really include myself in the conversation 'cause I've never fallen in love, the only thing that really stuck with me from that conversation was "you'll never know what you had, until you lose it". The talk they were having yesterday made me scared of falling in love, and I feel sorry for the person who falls in love with me, if anyone ever does that is.
Gotta get dressed and go town with Darron now, so he can buy The Game and help me in the field. Toodles.
Right, I stumbled home at whatever time last night, and I fell asleep at about 3am, I woke up at 7.30 'cause I left my curtains open and the sun had its hat on, for once. The worst thing was, I couldn't get back to sleep, and that pissed me off. I planned on getting up around 11ish, but nope. S'alright though, I'm not that tired, I could easily survive today.
Last night was a thousand times better than I thought it would be, which means it was alright, I thought it was gonna be horrible, but it really wasn't. Started off with me meeting Darron and Jay outside the pub, then I got ID'd straight away, haha. Darron bought me a Sailor Jerry and Coke, first drink of the night. Finished that rather quickly while Jay was talking to some pretty girl outside, thats around the time Tom met us, we made our way inside to get some more drinks, Tom ordered me and him their strongest shot, which was 67% or something, tasted like liquorice fire and burned my throat for ages. Carling was my drink of choice throught the majority of the night, with the occassional Sailor Jerry and Coke, we also had a shot of Jagermeister, tastes like medicine, feels good man.
I honestly think the only reason I enjoyed last night was because there were so many people there that I knew, had plenty of nice chats, I get alot more chatty when I've had a few drinks in me, and around people that I'm completely comfortable with. Honestly though, the nicest talk that I had last night was with Becca, even though it was incredibly short.
After the Moon we went to Adz' free yard, even though we was there for about 30 minutes, was talking to Darron and Jay about first love, I couldn't really include myself in the conversation 'cause I've never fallen in love, the only thing that really stuck with me from that conversation was "you'll never know what you had, until you lose it". The talk they were having yesterday made me scared of falling in love, and I feel sorry for the person who falls in love with me, if anyone ever does that is.
Gotta get dressed and go town with Darron now, so he can buy The Game and help me in the field. Toodles.
Friday, 24 July 2009
Hand over your money, and your love
I don't like change. Never have, never will, if you know me then you'll know this, once something is planned I don't want you to pick it up and make it into an origami swan. So, when my plans change, I'm not the happiest person in the world.
Didn't go London with Darron yesterday, we went to town instead, but I still got some jeans and another plaid shirt, so I'm not complaining. Also spent the remainer of my money, well, what was in my wallet anyway. Oh, and we're not going Fabric tonight either, mainly because people can't go (purely because they can't be bothered), or don't have money. So we're going to RAM@Matter on the 7th of August instead, which has a heavy lineup, and I'm looking forward to it. Thats if we get tickets. I'm gonna pressurise all my mates into getting them ASAP.
We're going to the Moon tonight, and I'm not excited about it in the slightest. I can't be fucked to go, its a shit place, the only reason everyone goes is because its cheap, and I don't feel like getting smashed anyway, even though other people are. Meh, I don't care, I'm only taking £15, so I have an excuse not to get off my face completely, even though I have £80 in the bank, and I'm sure a few people will buy me some pints, I'll just save my money if they do.
This morning I woke up at 5, well, my alarm went off at 5, then 5.15, then 5.30, I turned off every one, but naturally woke up at 5.45, which is a good thing, any later and I would of missed Gorillaring today. This explains the £15 in my pocket. The journey was pleasant, I read The Game all the way there, and on my way back aswell, the only thing that ruined it is when a tramp (well, he looked and smelled like a tramp and he sold The Big Issue, so I could only assume he was) sat next to me on the tube, he stunk of tobacco, cheap cider and piss, the smell made me gag as soon as he sat down, so I spent the remainder of the journey smelling my bookmark and looking the other way.
I got home at around 10, and fell asleep straight away, I'm still tired, and I only woke up about 45 minutes ago.
Science Museum tomorrow, that should be fun. That is if the plan sticks, which it should. I'm sure Becky wouldn't change the plans seeing as she loves that place, same goes for Lilli aswell.
I wanted to practice some of The Game today, but realised I'd probably suck, seeing as I've got zero confidence, and a shitty smile, it puts my chubby cheeks on display even more than they are, and I don't like that. Instead, I thought of a plan; Read the book once, then re-read it and take notes while another one of my mates read it so he knows what to do when we're out, then after I've finished re-reading it I'll put it into action, first of all I'll need to buy a bag (to keep what they call "props" in) though, I'd like a brown leather one, that'd be nice. Then after all thats done I'll read The Rules of The Game, which will only help me improve, right?
Something really annoyed me today, as soon as Sam walked up the stairs from the tube station, he started speaking to the guy next to me, I had my face buried in my book attempting to finish the chapter. I finished, removed it and Sam goes "oh, you're reading The Game? Going out on the pull are we Josh?" I chuckled and nodded my head making small talk, he turned to the guy next to me and goes "have you heard of The Game?" to which he replied "nope, whats it about?" Sam said "basically its how to pick up girls", the kid then went "oh I thought the game was to not think about the game", this is what pissed me off. Sam didn't clock on, he just made talk with him confusedly about the subject, the kid didn't bother to explain. The reason it pissed me off is because if you were a /b/tard (which he clearly was, ugly mess, spots all over his face, greasy hair, camoflauge jacket, yuck) why would you let others know? Its not exactly something to be proud of. Just keep your chapped lips shut.
Thats allllll I guess, I'm really fucking hungry, haven't eaten anything all day. Ciao.
Didn't go London with Darron yesterday, we went to town instead, but I still got some jeans and another plaid shirt, so I'm not complaining. Also spent the remainer of my money, well, what was in my wallet anyway. Oh, and we're not going Fabric tonight either, mainly because people can't go (purely because they can't be bothered), or don't have money. So we're going to RAM@Matter on the 7th of August instead, which has a heavy lineup, and I'm looking forward to it. Thats if we get tickets. I'm gonna pressurise all my mates into getting them ASAP.
We're going to the Moon tonight, and I'm not excited about it in the slightest. I can't be fucked to go, its a shit place, the only reason everyone goes is because its cheap, and I don't feel like getting smashed anyway, even though other people are. Meh, I don't care, I'm only taking £15, so I have an excuse not to get off my face completely, even though I have £80 in the bank, and I'm sure a few people will buy me some pints, I'll just save my money if they do.
This morning I woke up at 5, well, my alarm went off at 5, then 5.15, then 5.30, I turned off every one, but naturally woke up at 5.45, which is a good thing, any later and I would of missed Gorillaring today. This explains the £15 in my pocket. The journey was pleasant, I read The Game all the way there, and on my way back aswell, the only thing that ruined it is when a tramp (well, he looked and smelled like a tramp and he sold The Big Issue, so I could only assume he was) sat next to me on the tube, he stunk of tobacco, cheap cider and piss, the smell made me gag as soon as he sat down, so I spent the remainder of the journey smelling my bookmark and looking the other way.
I got home at around 10, and fell asleep straight away, I'm still tired, and I only woke up about 45 minutes ago.
Science Museum tomorrow, that should be fun. That is if the plan sticks, which it should. I'm sure Becky wouldn't change the plans seeing as she loves that place, same goes for Lilli aswell.
I wanted to practice some of The Game today, but realised I'd probably suck, seeing as I've got zero confidence, and a shitty smile, it puts my chubby cheeks on display even more than they are, and I don't like that. Instead, I thought of a plan; Read the book once, then re-read it and take notes while another one of my mates read it so he knows what to do when we're out, then after I've finished re-reading it I'll put it into action, first of all I'll need to buy a bag (to keep what they call "props" in) though, I'd like a brown leather one, that'd be nice. Then after all thats done I'll read The Rules of The Game, which will only help me improve, right?
Something really annoyed me today, as soon as Sam walked up the stairs from the tube station, he started speaking to the guy next to me, I had my face buried in my book attempting to finish the chapter. I finished, removed it and Sam goes "oh, you're reading The Game? Going out on the pull are we Josh?" I chuckled and nodded my head making small talk, he turned to the guy next to me and goes "have you heard of The Game?" to which he replied "nope, whats it about?" Sam said "basically its how to pick up girls", the kid then went "oh I thought the game was to not think about the game", this is what pissed me off. Sam didn't clock on, he just made talk with him confusedly about the subject, the kid didn't bother to explain. The reason it pissed me off is because if you were a /b/tard (which he clearly was, ugly mess, spots all over his face, greasy hair, camoflauge jacket, yuck) why would you let others know? Its not exactly something to be proud of. Just keep your chapped lips shut.
Thats allllll I guess, I'm really fucking hungry, haven't eaten anything all day. Ciao.
Thursday, 23 July 2009
Aww crap
Saturday I'm meant to be going Science Museum with Becky and Lilli, but I've just realised I won't be getting home until 7ish (if that) on Saturday morning, and I'm meant to meet them midday, so a healthy 4/5 hours sleep while having probably one of the heaviest nights of my life doesn't seem very appealing to me. Oh well, I'm sure I'll handle it, even if I'm hungover as fuck, I've met people on zero hours sleep and still managed to be highly entertaining.
Today I'm going up London again with Darron, 'cause he wants to get some stuff for Fabric tomorrow, and I still want to find some jeans, plus I spotted a nice belt in River Island that would go down well with my planned outfit.
Tomorrow I've got Gorillaring in the morning, then as soon as I get home from that I'm falling asleep, I'll need the majority of my energy for Fabric, especially seeing as I've got to go Science Museum like 6 hours after it finishes, ha, that'll be fun.
This weeks actually been really good. Started out with Bloc Party on Monday, thanks to Jess. Chilled with my mates on Tuesday, went shopping with Rosa and Julez on Wednesday, shopping with Darron today, Pub then Fabric tomorrow, Science Museum on Saturday.
Fuck yes. A semi-successful birthday week. My 21st will be much better though, get ready for me New York, I'll be seeing you in a few years.
Today I'm going up London again with Darron, 'cause he wants to get some stuff for Fabric tomorrow, and I still want to find some jeans, plus I spotted a nice belt in River Island that would go down well with my planned outfit.
Tomorrow I've got Gorillaring in the morning, then as soon as I get home from that I'm falling asleep, I'll need the majority of my energy for Fabric, especially seeing as I've got to go Science Museum like 6 hours after it finishes, ha, that'll be fun.
This weeks actually been really good. Started out with Bloc Party on Monday, thanks to Jess. Chilled with my mates on Tuesday, went shopping with Rosa and Julez on Wednesday, shopping with Darron today, Pub then Fabric tomorrow, Science Museum on Saturday.
Fuck yes. A semi-successful birthday week. My 21st will be much better though, get ready for me New York, I'll be seeing you in a few years.
Wednesday, 22 July 2009
Gee, thanks!
My Nan bought me tickets to Reading festival, which cost £180, and she gave me £50 ontop of that aswell, so £230 from her, Mum gave me £150 cash and she said she'll take me out when she feels well. Today I recieved my Dads card, the card was covered in tiny glittery stars and little signs saying "18", didn't appreciate that, its insanely childish, and inside the card it had a cheque for £50, wow, admittedly I should be greatful and everything... but its my 18th, and its the first time I've recieved money off him in way over a year. Thanks, I guess. Its funny how my Mums mate gave me £20, and my Nans mate gave me £25, then my Dad matches them two put together, near enough. Wow. I shouldn't complain though, its better than nothing...
Today I bought the red and black plaid shirt that I wanted, even though it cost £40, some white plimsols from Urban Outfitters, which were reduced to £8 when I was pondering about buying them or not, then the woman changed the sign to £5, so I had to get them. I bought Civil War, the graphic novel which I've been wanting for a while, it was £8 in HMV. A black double breasted cardigan from Full Circle in Selfridges, which was reduced to £27, and looked lush, so I thought I'd get it, even though I won't wear it in this weather, actually thats a lie, its hardly Summer weather is it? A retro Huckleberry Hound tshirt from River Island for £7. Two white shirts from Topman which cost £10, and Siren Blood Curse on the PS3 for £13.
I don't think my plan for saving £150 before I went to Reading will work... I've got £70 left, £30 in the bank, and a £50 cheque from Dad, which adds up to what I wanted to save, but it also means I won't be able to go out on Friday... So I guess I'll just have £100 in the bank, and I'll add to it over time I guess... Darron owes me £25 anyway, and I'm doing Gorillaring on Friday, so thats an extra £15.
Today was really nice, went London with Rosa and Julia, got my shittt, Rosa left after we went Selfridges, then Julia wanted to go to Primark, even though she didn't get anything. We bumped into her sister, who's nicer than I thought she would be, Julez makes her out to be a monster. Then we went homeee. Soon as I got back I dropped the stuff off at mine, rode to town to buy them white tshirts and Siren Blood Curse. When I got off my bike a group of girls and boys were sitting on the bench, one of 'em pointed to me and said "look, its your boyfriend", standard playground insult, so I just gave them a dirty stare, with a hint of confusion in it, she turned around and said "oh... guess you're not my boyfriend then. S'alright though, 'cause you're shit in the sack", instantly I thought of a comeback "must have me mistaken then, I'm clearly not your boyfriend 'cause I'm a God in the sack", but I didn't say it, I just chuckled and walked away.
That's all folks.
Today I bought the red and black plaid shirt that I wanted, even though it cost £40, some white plimsols from Urban Outfitters, which were reduced to £8 when I was pondering about buying them or not, then the woman changed the sign to £5, so I had to get them. I bought Civil War, the graphic novel which I've been wanting for a while, it was £8 in HMV. A black double breasted cardigan from Full Circle in Selfridges, which was reduced to £27, and looked lush, so I thought I'd get it, even though I won't wear it in this weather, actually thats a lie, its hardly Summer weather is it? A retro Huckleberry Hound tshirt from River Island for £7. Two white shirts from Topman which cost £10, and Siren Blood Curse on the PS3 for £13.
I don't think my plan for saving £150 before I went to Reading will work... I've got £70 left, £30 in the bank, and a £50 cheque from Dad, which adds up to what I wanted to save, but it also means I won't be able to go out on Friday... So I guess I'll just have £100 in the bank, and I'll add to it over time I guess... Darron owes me £25 anyway, and I'm doing Gorillaring on Friday, so thats an extra £15.
Today was really nice, went London with Rosa and Julia, got my shittt, Rosa left after we went Selfridges, then Julia wanted to go to Primark, even though she didn't get anything. We bumped into her sister, who's nicer than I thought she would be, Julez makes her out to be a monster. Then we went homeee. Soon as I got back I dropped the stuff off at mine, rode to town to buy them white tshirts and Siren Blood Curse. When I got off my bike a group of girls and boys were sitting on the bench, one of 'em pointed to me and said "look, its your boyfriend", standard playground insult, so I just gave them a dirty stare, with a hint of confusion in it, she turned around and said "oh... guess you're not my boyfriend then. S'alright though, 'cause you're shit in the sack", instantly I thought of a comeback "must have me mistaken then, I'm clearly not your boyfriend 'cause I'm a God in the sack", but I didn't say it, I just chuckled and walked away.
That's all folks.
Say no to drugs
Todays plans got changed, Mothers still ill, but she feels a little bit better which is a good thing. Instead of Julia coming round I'm going London with her and her mates, which should be alright, Ellen and Rosa are coming along aswell, and I like them, so it shouldn't be bad at allllll.
I wanna keep my eye out for some new trainers (maybe plimsols), jeans and a plaid shirt, preferably a red and black one, I saw one in Topman yesterday but unfortunately it was short sleeved :( don't like short sleeved shirts, only when the arms are rolled up. I just wanna get some clothes to wear for Friday.
I have nothing to wear today, but Mum recently did the washing up, so I'll grab a tshirt from the ironing bag and iron out the creases.
I'm looking forward to Friday, it'll be my first night at The Moon Under The Water (a pub on my road, which everyone goes to), I'm not really looking forward to that because it does look like a shit pub, theres nothing there, no pool tables, no music, nothing. Just tables, chairs, drink, yet everyone seems to go there? I don't quite understand why. After a few drinks we're heading to Fabric, which is the bit that I'm excited for, its only £13 and its got some good DJ's playing, like Goldie, Shy FX, Friction, 16 Bit, and more. Finishes at 6am, so we're not leaving until then ;)
Dads coming round some time next week (so he says...) to help destroy the top bunk of my bed, so I finally have a single bed, woo. I know I need to buy a bed, but we don't have the money for that. I'll probably get one whenever I redecorate my room, not quite sure when that will be though, hopefully soon.
My birthday was far from a success, Mum fell ill so we didn't go London, Hutley didn't want to go out at first, Darron wasn't answering his phone, and Scales said he'll come out if everyone else is, if not he was gonna go bed soon. Then Hutley changed his mind, Darron answered his phone, and Scales came out. We didn't do anything special, we just did what we do most nights; get high. How exciting. Oh well, I got like £200+ and I'm still waiting on a cheque from my Dad, so I'll be able to go through with my money saving plan for Reading (putting £150 in the bank), and buy everything I need for Friday today, yay.
I also bought The Game yesterday, by Neil Strauss, I've only read about 20 pages or something lame, but its really good so far, hopefully I'll learn something from it, y'never know.
Gonna go get some breakfast and iron a tshirt, if I can find one. Take care.
I wanna keep my eye out for some new trainers (maybe plimsols), jeans and a plaid shirt, preferably a red and black one, I saw one in Topman yesterday but unfortunately it was short sleeved :( don't like short sleeved shirts, only when the arms are rolled up. I just wanna get some clothes to wear for Friday.
I have nothing to wear today, but Mum recently did the washing up, so I'll grab a tshirt from the ironing bag and iron out the creases.
I'm looking forward to Friday, it'll be my first night at The Moon Under The Water (a pub on my road, which everyone goes to), I'm not really looking forward to that because it does look like a shit pub, theres nothing there, no pool tables, no music, nothing. Just tables, chairs, drink, yet everyone seems to go there? I don't quite understand why. After a few drinks we're heading to Fabric, which is the bit that I'm excited for, its only £13 and its got some good DJ's playing, like Goldie, Shy FX, Friction, 16 Bit, and more. Finishes at 6am, so we're not leaving until then ;)
Dads coming round some time next week (so he says...) to help destroy the top bunk of my bed, so I finally have a single bed, woo. I know I need to buy a bed, but we don't have the money for that. I'll probably get one whenever I redecorate my room, not quite sure when that will be though, hopefully soon.
My birthday was far from a success, Mum fell ill so we didn't go London, Hutley didn't want to go out at first, Darron wasn't answering his phone, and Scales said he'll come out if everyone else is, if not he was gonna go bed soon. Then Hutley changed his mind, Darron answered his phone, and Scales came out. We didn't do anything special, we just did what we do most nights; get high. How exciting. Oh well, I got like £200+ and I'm still waiting on a cheque from my Dad, so I'll be able to go through with my money saving plan for Reading (putting £150 in the bank), and buy everything I need for Friday today, yay.
I also bought The Game yesterday, by Neil Strauss, I've only read about 20 pages or something lame, but its really good so far, hopefully I'll learn something from it, y'never know.
Gonna go get some breakfast and iron a tshirt, if I can find one. Take care.
Tuesday, 21 July 2009
Finally!
I'm going out, really didn't wanna be stuck in on my birthday, but nobody seemed to want to go out, but now they've changed their mind, yessss.
I don't like this
Last night I was in the best mood ever. Todays my birthday and now my moods sunk like the Titanic, fuck sake.
Oh and on top of things, Mums ill so I'm not going out with her today, and my Nans fallen ill again, so thats not good. Great birthday this is turning out to be. Fuck life.
Oh and on top of things, Mums ill so I'm not going out with her today, and my Nans fallen ill again, so thats not good. Great birthday this is turning out to be. Fuck life.
This city was raised on borrowed time
Today, well, last night (technically) was the best night I've had in so long. I'm actually fully in love with Jessie, she's given me the second best birthday present anyone could ever give me, even though she got out-done by my Nan who bought me a ticket to Reading festival, but that was just as good. She won tickets to iTunes festival, and even though I wasn't her first choice (her Mum backed out for whatever reason), she decided to take me, 'cause she knows how much I love Bloc Party.
Yesterday (Monday) started off by me falling asleep at 6am and waking up at 2pm, ringing Jo and telling her that I'll be ready to go town in like 5 minutes, 3pm rolled around and I only just got out the shower, but she didn't seem too bothered. We went to the town, she got sweets for her Mum at Ma Battleys, and I needed to deposit some money in the bank, my plan is to put £150 in there before Reading, 'cause I know I won't spend it seeing as I never go to the bank, genius. Then I came home, had another shower, and ate a Rustlers chicken burger, which was alright, at best. Then left to meet Jessie outside Chalk Farm station, she got over-excited and left early then asked if she could meet me 15 minutes earlier than planned, she could of... but as I was walking onto the platform the train left, so I had to wait 10 minutes for another. Sophie rang me while I was waiting for the train and we had a nice conversation, until I hit a tunnel and lost signal.
By 6pm I was outside Chalk Farm station, where I met Jessie, who was smoking a cigarette, Silk Cut, yuck. The wait to get in wasn't that bad, and I had a lovely conversation about music and other things with Jess, she's so lovely, bless her. Once we got inside, I told Jess I'll buy her a drink to make up for it, so I made my way to the bar, where a blonde woman served me, I asked for two Strongbows (it was either that or Becks, thats all they sold), she asked for my age, I told her I'm 17, but only for a few more hours, she asked for ID, wished me a happy birthday and gave me my drinks. The opening band was The Invisibles, they weren't good, at all, the frontman looked like an elderly Rick James, and nobody was dancing in the crowd, I felt bad for them. Then Delphic (well, delphic.) came on, Jessie was so happy, aww, she was singing along at the top of her voice and telling me all the words before they were even said haha, helped me get into it so I'm not complaining, they were really good though, I didn't expect them to be that good.
Fearne Cotton and Dave Berry were doing recordings for the iTunes Festival on ITV1 and ITV2, and the crowd wasn't cooperating at all, haha, everytime they said a band that weren't liked by a lot of the crowd, everyone boo'd, including Oasis, Kasabian and some others, haha, how rebellious.
Then Bloc Party came on at around 9.30pm, everyone went nuts, I warned Jessie that I'll lose her, but its okay 'cause she made friends with the pretty blonde girl who was standing behind her, I asked her where her mate disappeared to and she said she went to get a drink, I just replied ha, doesn't look like she's gonna make it back! She giggled. Then Jessie started speaking to her about god knows what, thats when I lost her. I was looking around for her for the most of the set though, until I got a text saying "Dude you suck", which made me giggle, then found out she's leaving in like 15 minutes and she was at the back so I gave up looking. I bumped into quite a few people that were really friendly and held conversations with me, mainly started off by me shouting the lyrics at the top of my lungs in their face, which was quite eventful. I got a chewing gum off some guy, held a conversation about Reading with another, met some kid called Ewan or whatever, he was quite small, I told him that, and numerous other things occured. The drummer was in his boxers most of the time which made me giggle quite a bit, and Kele called the crowd cool 'cause we know the One More Chance song, fuck yeah. They played Ares aswell, Kele started it off by saying "Judging by the crowd surfing, you've still got a bit of fight left in you, are you feeling tough? This next songs about fighting, do whatever you want with it", then a moshpit opened behind me so I felt obliged to join in, I was standing in the middle saying "CMON THEN" and standing my ground, I barely got budged, I'm so 'ard, but then I started feeling a bit sick due to dehydration, so I made my way to the bar and downed a few cups of water before returning. Oh I got so close to the front. Overall it was one of the best nights I've had, ever. I felt sorry for Jess having to leave so early though, seeing as she really wanted to listen to One More Chance and Ares, shame she had to leave early. I honestly can't thank her enough though.
The journey home was nice aswell, even though I was drenched in sweat, worn out, and my voice hurt a little bit, it was all non-existant 'cause Julez kept me company on the phone until I got home, bless her.
I turned 18 an hour and fourty minutes ago, and I'm not even excited really, I think people are happier for me than I am for myself, which is quite worrying. The way I see it is I'm just getting older... admittedly I can now get into pubs, clubs, raves, etc. but they won't be as good as expected, so I'm not really look forward to them.
Today (Tuesday) I'm going to Central London with my Mum, she says she's gonna take me to Covent Garden for whatever reason, I'm not complaining though, I don't mind spending time with Mumsie. Not quite sure what the plans are for Tuesday night though, then again I don't feel like celebrating, all I know is we're going to Fabric on Friday.
Tomorrow (Wednesday) I'm seeing Julia, hopefully she'll bring me The Game by Neil Strauss, and maybe I'll see Rosa aswell, if I'm lucky. We're planning on watching Visitor Q 'cause Julez wants to see it, even though its really fucked up.
I would catch you up on stuff that happened last week, but its all insignificant due to Bloc Party, I was actually shaking on my way there, and my heart was racing aswell, its silly how much I love them. 507 plays on my last.fm profile of Bloc Party, and counting. I've actually listened to Bloc Party while writing this blog, from start 'till finish.
Oh and apparently the Orange Rockcorps "Blink" advert is now on television, so keep an eye out for me, you'll see me at about 12 seconds. Actually, you don't need to keep an eye out for it, I'll just embed it in this post. I actually look so repulsive though, and you can see my moobs, how attractive, haha. I don't care though, I got paid for it and I was actually used, so thats something to put on my CV! Enjoy, and have a nice day.
Yesterday (Monday) started off by me falling asleep at 6am and waking up at 2pm, ringing Jo and telling her that I'll be ready to go town in like 5 minutes, 3pm rolled around and I only just got out the shower, but she didn't seem too bothered. We went to the town, she got sweets for her Mum at Ma Battleys, and I needed to deposit some money in the bank, my plan is to put £150 in there before Reading, 'cause I know I won't spend it seeing as I never go to the bank, genius. Then I came home, had another shower, and ate a Rustlers chicken burger, which was alright, at best. Then left to meet Jessie outside Chalk Farm station, she got over-excited and left early then asked if she could meet me 15 minutes earlier than planned, she could of... but as I was walking onto the platform the train left, so I had to wait 10 minutes for another. Sophie rang me while I was waiting for the train and we had a nice conversation, until I hit a tunnel and lost signal.
By 6pm I was outside Chalk Farm station, where I met Jessie, who was smoking a cigarette, Silk Cut, yuck. The wait to get in wasn't that bad, and I had a lovely conversation about music and other things with Jess, she's so lovely, bless her. Once we got inside, I told Jess I'll buy her a drink to make up for it, so I made my way to the bar, where a blonde woman served me, I asked for two Strongbows (it was either that or Becks, thats all they sold), she asked for my age, I told her I'm 17, but only for a few more hours, she asked for ID, wished me a happy birthday and gave me my drinks. The opening band was The Invisibles, they weren't good, at all, the frontman looked like an elderly Rick James, and nobody was dancing in the crowd, I felt bad for them. Then Delphic (well, delphic.) came on, Jessie was so happy, aww, she was singing along at the top of her voice and telling me all the words before they were even said haha, helped me get into it so I'm not complaining, they were really good though, I didn't expect them to be that good.
Fearne Cotton and Dave Berry were doing recordings for the iTunes Festival on ITV1 and ITV2, and the crowd wasn't cooperating at all, haha, everytime they said a band that weren't liked by a lot of the crowd, everyone boo'd, including Oasis, Kasabian and some others, haha, how rebellious.
Then Bloc Party came on at around 9.30pm, everyone went nuts, I warned Jessie that I'll lose her, but its okay 'cause she made friends with the pretty blonde girl who was standing behind her, I asked her where her mate disappeared to and she said she went to get a drink, I just replied ha, doesn't look like she's gonna make it back! She giggled. Then Jessie started speaking to her about god knows what, thats when I lost her. I was looking around for her for the most of the set though, until I got a text saying "Dude you suck", which made me giggle, then found out she's leaving in like 15 minutes and she was at the back so I gave up looking. I bumped into quite a few people that were really friendly and held conversations with me, mainly started off by me shouting the lyrics at the top of my lungs in their face, which was quite eventful. I got a chewing gum off some guy, held a conversation about Reading with another, met some kid called Ewan or whatever, he was quite small, I told him that, and numerous other things occured. The drummer was in his boxers most of the time which made me giggle quite a bit, and Kele called the crowd cool 'cause we know the One More Chance song, fuck yeah. They played Ares aswell, Kele started it off by saying "Judging by the crowd surfing, you've still got a bit of fight left in you, are you feeling tough? This next songs about fighting, do whatever you want with it", then a moshpit opened behind me so I felt obliged to join in, I was standing in the middle saying "CMON THEN" and standing my ground, I barely got budged, I'm so 'ard, but then I started feeling a bit sick due to dehydration, so I made my way to the bar and downed a few cups of water before returning. Oh I got so close to the front. Overall it was one of the best nights I've had, ever. I felt sorry for Jess having to leave so early though, seeing as she really wanted to listen to One More Chance and Ares, shame she had to leave early. I honestly can't thank her enough though.
The journey home was nice aswell, even though I was drenched in sweat, worn out, and my voice hurt a little bit, it was all non-existant 'cause Julez kept me company on the phone until I got home, bless her.
I turned 18 an hour and fourty minutes ago, and I'm not even excited really, I think people are happier for me than I am for myself, which is quite worrying. The way I see it is I'm just getting older... admittedly I can now get into pubs, clubs, raves, etc. but they won't be as good as expected, so I'm not really look forward to them.
Today (Tuesday) I'm going to Central London with my Mum, she says she's gonna take me to Covent Garden for whatever reason, I'm not complaining though, I don't mind spending time with Mumsie. Not quite sure what the plans are for Tuesday night though, then again I don't feel like celebrating, all I know is we're going to Fabric on Friday.
Tomorrow (Wednesday) I'm seeing Julia, hopefully she'll bring me The Game by Neil Strauss, and maybe I'll see Rosa aswell, if I'm lucky. We're planning on watching Visitor Q 'cause Julez wants to see it, even though its really fucked up.
I would catch you up on stuff that happened last week, but its all insignificant due to Bloc Party, I was actually shaking on my way there, and my heart was racing aswell, its silly how much I love them. 507 plays on my last.fm profile of Bloc Party, and counting. I've actually listened to Bloc Party while writing this blog, from start 'till finish.
Oh and apparently the Orange Rockcorps "Blink" advert is now on television, so keep an eye out for me, you'll see me at about 12 seconds. Actually, you don't need to keep an eye out for it, I'll just embed it in this post. I actually look so repulsive though, and you can see my moobs, how attractive, haha. I don't care though, I got paid for it and I was actually used, so thats something to put on my CV! Enjoy, and have a nice day.
Sunday, 19 July 2009
Its been a while
Nothing happens anymore, so I've got no reason to blog. I'll catch you up on the last couple of days;
I've got extremely mixed emotions at the moment, seeing as Julia said that nothings gonna happen between us I'm quite unhappy, but I'm seeing Bloc Party tomorrow (thanks to Jessie!) and I'm 18 on Tuesday, so I've got things to look forward to. I'm so fucking excited for tomorrow, omgomg. I'm not doing anything for my 18th, well, anything big. And I've sort of left it late to get people out and stuff, but oh well, I don't really care, its just another year.
I haven't touched this blog for over an hour, I left it at the end of that paragraph, then got a phone call. I now feel like shit. I've fucked up, yet again. I hate upsetting people.
I've got extremely mixed emotions at the moment, seeing as Julia said that nothings gonna happen between us I'm quite unhappy, but I'm seeing Bloc Party tomorrow (thanks to Jessie!) and I'm 18 on Tuesday, so I've got things to look forward to. I'm so fucking excited for tomorrow, omgomg. I'm not doing anything for my 18th, well, anything big. And I've sort of left it late to get people out and stuff, but oh well, I don't really care, its just another year.
I haven't touched this blog for over an hour, I left it at the end of that paragraph, then got a phone call. I now feel like shit. I've fucked up, yet again. I hate upsetting people.
Tuesday, 14 July 2009
Ouch
"'cause I'm sick of death of talking about this and thinking about you"
Sorry, didn't know thinking of me would make you so sick.
Sorry, didn't know thinking of me would make you so sick.
These alley cats be at war with these dirty rats
People have been complaining about my lack of blogging, truth is nothings been happening. Until recently, time to catch you up on current events.
Darron got kicked out of his a few days ago, so I've been hanging out with him quite a bit. His Mum flipped because he didn't do the washing up and apparently it was a tip, but it wasn't 'cause I was there the day before, all it was was piles of washing up in the kitchen and a duvet on the living room floor. Overreact much?
Saw Julia on Saturday, nice day. Saw Brüno that night at 11.45, such a funny film, I honestly was in histerics all the way through, which made Adam crease 'cause of my laugh.
Julia broke up with me last night, didn't last long, and apparently according to her it was the most wasted month or two of her life, nice Josh, nice. I didn't really react to the whole thing, it didn't bother me, because it didn't hit, it did a few hours after, then it bothered me, quite a bit really. Mmm, well if she can get over me I can get over her I guess. I want to go into it, but I can't be bothered 'cause its stupid. The reason for us ending was 'cause I'm gonna be 18 and she'd feel like she would be holding me back from doing stuff, and she's going away for 3 weeks, so I'm not gonna see her a lot, and we've got different friend circles so we don't see eachother much anyway. But whatever, its her decision, I should of fought but I didn't, too late now.
Today I've got to go Chace Community School to drop off my prospectuses and get Miss Linney to fill in reference forms. Then venture into town, buy my Nans perfume 'cause I'm such a good Grandson, and ask Carphone Warhouse about my Mums phone, seeing as she didn't get a USB lead or a installation CD, and she wants me to put some ringtones on it. Fun day ahead for me...
On the plus side, one week until I'm 18. I've got 3 weeks of events lined up, current amount of cash: £5.19. Score. I'm confused as to why I'm already recieving birthday cards. Pretty sure they just thought "Oh his birthday is some time around mid-July, lets send them now, he won't open them until his birthday anyway". Won't I? ;) I'll leave you with something me and Jessie wrote a while ago, she left it on my Facebook wall a few days ago, it put a smile on my face, still does.
Oh, and thanks to Becky and Zoe who cheered me up a little bit, even if they didn't do much, yet.
i woke up to the sound of my phone
Darron got kicked out of his a few days ago, so I've been hanging out with him quite a bit. His Mum flipped because he didn't do the washing up and apparently it was a tip, but it wasn't 'cause I was there the day before, all it was was piles of washing up in the kitchen and a duvet on the living room floor. Overreact much?
Saw Julia on Saturday, nice day. Saw Brüno that night at 11.45, such a funny film, I honestly was in histerics all the way through, which made Adam crease 'cause of my laugh.
Julia broke up with me last night, didn't last long, and apparently according to her it was the most wasted month or two of her life, nice Josh, nice. I didn't really react to the whole thing, it didn't bother me, because it didn't hit, it did a few hours after, then it bothered me, quite a bit really. Mmm, well if she can get over me I can get over her I guess. I want to go into it, but I can't be bothered 'cause its stupid. The reason for us ending was 'cause I'm gonna be 18 and she'd feel like she would be holding me back from doing stuff, and she's going away for 3 weeks, so I'm not gonna see her a lot, and we've got different friend circles so we don't see eachother much anyway. But whatever, its her decision, I should of fought but I didn't, too late now.
Today I've got to go Chace Community School to drop off my prospectuses and get Miss Linney to fill in reference forms. Then venture into town, buy my Nans perfume 'cause I'm such a good Grandson, and ask Carphone Warhouse about my Mums phone, seeing as she didn't get a USB lead or a installation CD, and she wants me to put some ringtones on it. Fun day ahead for me...
On the plus side, one week until I'm 18. I've got 3 weeks of events lined up, current amount of cash: £5.19. Score. I'm confused as to why I'm already recieving birthday cards. Pretty sure they just thought "Oh his birthday is some time around mid-July, lets send them now, he won't open them until his birthday anyway". Won't I? ;) I'll leave you with something me and Jessie wrote a while ago, she left it on my Facebook wall a few days ago, it put a smile on my face, still does.
Oh, and thanks to Becky and Zoe who cheered me up a little bit, even if they didn't do much, yet.
i woke up to the sound of my phone
i was secluded, all alone
i glanced over, to see your name
i read the text and was filled with pain
i closed my eyes and all i felt was regret
you're not gonna be easy to forget
as i chucked my phone onto the floor,
i was swarmed with feelings which i'd felt before
i did something so stupid, something so dumb
tried fighting a battle that i should of won
so i sit here drunk, and on my guitar i play
asking myself why you live so far away
and now i lay here sober, feeling profuse rage
telling myself to find someone that's my age
money, time, and effort was what tore us apart
you were never as serious as i was from the start
you don't understand how much i really do need you
it would help if you felt the same way too
but you dont, never will, and theres no way i can change that
so i'll busk on the tube until theres cash in my hat
Thursday, 2 July 2009
The return
Got back from the doctors a few hours ago, he didn't say much on the subject, I was waiting for 25 minutes, but I was in and out of his office within about 30 seconds. When I was there I had a massive urge to play Theme Hospital, oh man I loved that game so much. But yeah, he didn't say anything about my throat, just said that its incredibly swollen (reason why its painful when I swallow), and he prescribed me Penicillin, which I should take an hour before breakfast, hour before lunch andddd an hour before dinner. Oh and also before I go to bed. Repeat for five days, and if its still there return for blood tests and stuff, but I feel better after taking one, I can swallow without scrunching up my face in disgust :DD
Looks like I don't actually have swine flu!
Looks like I don't actually have swine flu!
Wednesday, 1 July 2009
I might turn into an actual pig!
Found out that one of the symptoms for swine flu is a horribly sore throat, which I've had since Saturday, doesn't seem to be getting any better either. Think I might go to the doctors for that tomorrow. If I do have it, I hope I'll turn pink and grow a swirly tail. Seriously though, this sore throat is so fucking annoying, I've barely eaten anything in the past 3 days, at the moment I'm trying to get through beans on toast, but it hurts so much to swallow, and the food sticks in my throat for a few minutes so I've gotta take a drink after every bite. I didn't find that out until yesterday when I was trying to make my way through spagghetti and meatballs, regurgitated it, yummy!
I was told I go on about Julia too much in my blog, so I'm probably gonna cut down on that...
I guess that's all I've got to update you with, oh, and I've started building a portfolio to get into college, so far I've done like 25% of Jack Penate, which isn't that much at all, but seeing as I'm a total n00b at Illustrator, it's good for me. Even if it did take 2 hours. Ciao.
I was told I go on about Julia too much in my blog, so I'm probably gonna cut down on that...
I guess that's all I've got to update you with, oh, and I've started building a portfolio to get into college, so far I've done like 25% of Jack Penate, which isn't that much at all, but seeing as I'm a total n00b at Illustrator, it's good for me. Even if it did take 2 hours. Ciao.
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